Jace learns the internet
by PineapplePeopleSpokesman
Summary: In City of Bones jace says he doesn't know what eBay is...just a one off story i wrote my first one . Think about it?
1. Chapter 1

**I was re-reading City of Bones and got this idea from pg 98. It's my first fanfic so be nice (and yes I know that was clichéd). =]**

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"The marks are only part of it. There are tests, ordeals, levels of training – look, just forget it, okay? Stay away from my blades. In fact, don't touch any of my weapons without my permission," Jace said crossly.

"Well there goes my plan for selling them all on eBay,' Clary muttered.

"Selling them on what?"

Clary smiled blandly at him. "A mythical place of great magical power. Also known as a website on the internet."

"In-ter-net?" For once Jace looked puzzled. Clary's shocked expression turned into a smug one. "You don't know what the internet is? Jace Wayland doesn't know something?!"

"It's obviously just slipped my mind. Why don't you refresh my memory then?" Jace asked quietly, some of his huge ego finally taking a hit. "The internet is this worldwide thing with all these websites…oh, but you won' know what they are. I wish Simon was here, he could explain this, so much better," Clary sighed, frustrated. "Of course you wish Simon was here," Jace said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Clary opened for mouth for an insulting comeback as Dorothea returned.

"He doesn't know what the internet is? With a head that big you would have thought he'd have _some_ brain in there," Dorothea said, her mouth curling into a smug grin. "No, he doesn't!"Clary laughed. "And you do, Madame Dorothea?" Jace asked, getting very annoyed. "Just because I'm old doesn't mean I'm stupid," Dorothea snapped back. "Okay, but none of you have told me what this internet thing is yet," Jace replied. "I have a computer, we can show you, but your tea will get cold" Dorothea warned.

"Oh…no," Jace said, back to his usual sarcasm.

"Your loss, not mine," Dorothea replied. "Follow me then."

She led them into a darkly lit room that looked just like Clary's, upstairs, but this room smelled like burnt rosemary and was exceptionally clean. Dorothea strode to the computer at the back of the room, from which most of the light in the room was coming from. She clicked the icon for the internet. They waited in silence. Clary turned to look at Jace's face. It was screwed up in concentration and anticipation.

"Stupid thing, so slow to load," Dorothea complained, hitting the computer. When the internet finally loaded Jace gasped. "If I didn't know any better I'd say _this_ was magic,"

"Where have you been living all your life?" Clary wondered.

"In Idris and we don't have computers there," Jace replied, clearly annoyed again.

"But we do have them in New York," Clary stated.

"I'm a Shadowhunter, when would I have the time for this?" Jace said dryly. "Can I have a go?" He asked Dorothea.

"Alright but don't break it. I want Clary supervising. I'll make more tea," And with that Dorothea was off.

"So what do you do on this thing?" Jace grinned.

"Go on eBay if you want," Clary told Jace.

"How?"

"You type it in the bar at the top," Clary instructed.

Jace typed painfully slow.

"Woah!"

_This is going to be a long night _Clary thought.

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**So what did you think? Were the characters in character? Review and I'll send you Jace with some tea. ;]**


	2. At the Institute

**Hey guys! Thanks to OmgAdot, aguamysticwriter, RockyHorror11 and knox34 for reviewing! I was really excited. Also I just realised that I forgot the disclaimer in the first chapter so here's one: I don't own anything or anyone in my story. They all belong to Cassandra Clare. **

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Jace and Clary have gone through the portal, met Simon, eavesdropped on Luke and are back at the Institute.

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"You live here?" Simon stood staring up at the old cathedral, with its broken-in windows and doors sealed with yellow police tape. "But it's a church."

Jace reached into the neck of his shirt and pulled out a brass key on the end of a chain. It looked like the sort one might use to open an old chest in an attic. Clary watched him curiously – he hadn't locked the door behind him when they'd left the Institute before, just let it slam shut. "We find it useful to inhabit hallowed ground. Enough about the Institute though. Clary said you could explain the internet to me."

"Did she?" Simon looked inquiringly at Clary who shrugged her sorry in return. "So? Jace asked, suddenly in Simon's face.

"So what?"

"So are you going to explain the internet to me or not?"

"I guess I have to now," Simon sighed. Clary gave him an apologetic look. "Can't we leave this until we've talked to Hodge?" Clary asked as they stepped into the elevator. Jace's face grew serious as he recalled the night's events, but his curiosity overruled any other thoughts. "I'm sure it won't take long. I mean look at him!"

Simon who was wearing jeans and his emo Princess Peach shirt gave Jace and unamused glare. "Sure," he said angrily.

"Excellent!" Jace said missing the sarcasm and ignoring the anger in Simon's voice. The rest of their trip to the kitchen – led by church – was spent by Simon warily explaining various things about the internet to Jace.

When they reached the modern looking kitchen they found Isabelle next to a cast-iron stove with a round spoon in her hand, her hair pinned up on top of her head. "I'm making soup," Isabelle said, waving a spoon at Jace. "Are you hungry?" she glanced behind them then, her dark gaze taking in Simon as well as Clary. "Oh my God," she said with finality. "You brought another mundie here? Hodge is going to kill you."

Simon cleared his throat. "I'm Simon," he said. Isabelle ignored him. "JACE WAYLAND," she said. "Explain yourself."

"We found him along our way, Clary knows him. He's explaining the internet to me," Jace said.

"You don't know what the internet is? Jace Wayland doesn't know something?" Isabelle was just as shocked as Clary had been and just like Clary, her shocked expression turned into a smug one.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Jace asked, exasperated.

"How could you have not heard of the internet?" Isabelle smirked.

"How could you have? We don't have any computers here!" Jace whined. "And why didn't you tell me?"

"They're called laptops, Jace!" Isabelle answered.

"Laptops?" Jace asked, clearly not understanding what Isabelle was saying. "Never mind, let's go mundie," he said, pulling Simon away from his task of trying to talk to Isabelle. "I can see we're not getting anywhere here," Simon followed Jace after seemingly regaining his senses.

Clary stood where she was for about 10 seconds, undecided about whether to stay or go. She soon ran after Jace and Simon, repelled by the idea of being alone with Isabelle again. Ahead of her, Jace and Simon were having a mostly one sided conversation, with Simon (to Jace's displeasure) answering with as little words as possible. He still had a dreamy look on his face.

_This night just keeps getting longer and longer _Clary thought.

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**Did you like it? I'm a bit unsure about this chapter. Review! Jace has more tea (and soup if you like that sort of thing) and he now does home deliveries. ;] **


	3. Men

**Hey guys (I should probably be saying girls but meh). I'd like to thank magic noctum, jamKa and slytherin ina jar. You guys are my rock (yeah I'm weird). **

**Disclaimer: Alas but I don't own anything from my story especially not the endless amounts of quotes I use.**

**On with the show…**

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Instead of walking in with Jace to meet brother Jeremiah, Clary walks to the library alone and finds, Jace, Hodge and Jeremiah talking about the internet.

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Clary walked into the library to find Jace, Hodge and a cloaked figure, deep in conversation and fussing over a bright pink laptop. None of them even turned to acknowledge her as she cleared her throat noisily, so she tried again. "Sheesh Clary!" Jace said, still not turning to face her "Go eat a butter menthol or something" **(A/N: A butter menthol is a throat soother thing. I dunno if they're only in Australia or not…) **"Sorry. Whose laptop is that? Isabelle's?" Clary asked.

"It's actually mine," Hodge said, not looking even the slightest bit embarrassed.

"Isabelle would bake us in one of her horrid pies if we used her laptop without her here," Jace said, finally turning to face Clary. He had dark lines under his eyes, like he hadn't slept much. "If you're looking at the lines and not just my whole beautiful face then they're there because I couldn't sleep. I was thinking about the internet,"

"Yeah, so he woke me up to tell me about it. Only to find that I had a laptop," Hodge said. He too had dark lines under his eyes.

"When brother Jeremiah arrived we were looking at my laptop. He joined in our conversation and here we are now,"

_That is correct. _Jeremiah's voice had echoed in Clary's head like she'd thought the words – only she hadn't. Clary had to stifle a gasp. "Where are my manners? Brother Jeremiah, Clary, Clary, Brother Jeremiah," Hodge said introducing the two.

"Can we get back to the laptop?" Jace whined. He'd been waiting 'patiently' as the others talked. "Alright I suppose," Hodge replied in an equally whiny voice. Clary couldn't help but laugh. Hodge then sat down in front of the laptop and made room for Clary.

After closer inspection, Clary saw that the laptop had various stickers plastered all over it. "That's a…interesting laptop you've got there, Hodge," Clary said.

"Don't you just love it? Hodge asked, smiling to the screen.

"How can you not?" Jace wondered out loud.

They were on Hodge's facebook page. "You have facebook?" Clary asked Hodge, astounded.

_Who doesn't? _Jeremiah asked.

"Err…sorry. I guess…I wasn't thinking straight" **(A/N: Heheh – straight) **Clary replied, Jeremiah's question had totally phased her. _You are excused. _Jeremiah told her. All Clary could do was stare in disbelief at the three men's backs, hunched over the laptop.

_Men _Clary thought.

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**Yeah…this one was really weird and short. Sorry about the lack of Jace. And all the AN's. Yes – as I said on my profile – I am obsessed with slash. Jace is still now offering pie (another thing I'm obsessed with). REVIEW!**


	4. Not again

**Hey people. Thanks to everyone whose reviewed. This is the last chappie but I'm thinking of doing a sequel with Alec and Magnus (yes I'm very slashcentric).**

**Disclaimer: *sigh* I still don't earn anything…**

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It's the same morning at the last chapter.

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"Move," Jace said, giving Clary, who was sitting at Hodge's laptop, a small shove. "What?" Clary asked. She'd been deep in conversation with Hodge and Jeremiah. "Move," Jace repeated, giving her a harder shove.

"Jeez, you only had to ask," Clary said, getting off the chair. She only spared him a short look before continuing with her conversation. His hair was sticking out in odd places and his eyes were red, but he still managed to look amazing.

Her conversation was cut short by Jace asking "How do you log into that email I made?"

Clary sighed and answered "No one but you knows the address, so you won't have any emails."

"I have to reply to an email to confirm my account on facebook." Jace said matter-of-factly. "Account for _what_?" Clary asked.

"Facebook," Jace said to Clary like it was the most obvious thing on earth. "You got facebook?" Clary asked, astounded "You only just learnt how use a computer!"

"Why would I wanna be the loner without it?" Jace asked, getting annoyed for the thousandth time that morning. "I wouldn't know," Clary replied with venom. "Good, so how do I log in?"Jace asked.

"Go to windows live and type in your address and password," Hodge answered, cutting off anything else Clary had to say.

"I got the email!" Jace squealed, very uncharacteristically **(A/N: If I'm gonna make him out of character I may as well point it out)** _Amazing _Jeremiah said, sarcastically. Clary couldn't help but think if she could see under Jeremiah's hood, he'd be smiling.

Jace opened the email and confirmed his account. He then went back to facebooks's homepage and logged in. "What do I do now?" Jace asked, his massive grin, starting to fade. "Anything you want," Clary told Jace.

"I got that part, but what is there to do on facebook?" he asked, unsatisfied with Clary's answer.

_Quizzes, talk to people, random game things _Jeremiah replied.

"Who can I talk to? What are the quizzes about? Will I have to study?" Jace gushed to Jeremiah, who talked back, his enthusiasm equalling Jace's.

Clary looked at the clock on the wall. It was 2:30. "We've been here for 5 hours!" she exclaimed.

"Let Jace have his fun." Hodge replied "He'll get bored of the internet sooner or later."

"I'm hoping sooner," Clary said, looking at Jace who was having trouble dragging the mouse across the page. "But by the looks of things, I doubt it."

"Sadly I think you're right," Hodge sighed, he too, turned to watch Jace.

"What are you doing?" Alec asked, stepping into the room.

"Facebook," Jace, Clary, Jeremiah and Hodge replied in unison.

"Face _what_? And what the hell is that thing Jace is on?" Alec asked.

"A laptop…don't tell me you don't know what the internet is either," Clary sighed.

"In-ter-net?" Alec asked. He sounded as astounded as Jace had been. He was soon deep in conversation with Jace. "I wish Simon was here," Jace said "It would make things so much easier."

_Not again _Clary thought, before launching into the conversation.

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**What did you think? Love it hate it? Review! Jace and I are thinking of starting a delivery service for tea now…**


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